The day I quit drinking  – straw, camel, back!

There are pivotal moments in everyone’s lives, key points when your very existence changes forever. For many the decision to quit drinking alcohol is one of them, and it certainly was for me.

Given their enormous significance and the life altering impact they have, they tend to be few and far between. I’d had three or four by my late thirties – when I moved to Tasmania with my family as a 10-year-old, the decision to finish my degree instead of quitting, the day I met Sarah who would later become my wife – decisions that completely changed the direction of my life forever.

In 2012 I had two of these life-changing moments in the space of 48 hours. First, my wife gave birth to our son Jack. I’d wanted to have a child for a few years, and when he finally arrived I knew instantly my life would never be the same again. The love a parent has for their child is like no other, and being responsible for the growth and development of a newborn is the ultimate life changing moment.

The second pivotal life moment came two days later, and was borne out of a situation of my own making where I knew I’d let my family down.

The beginning of the end

It all started around 20 hours before I collected Sarah and Jack from the hospital to bring them home for the first time. The night after Jack was born was a Friday night and I’d arranged to meet a few friends at a pub in Richmond to ‘wet the baby’s head’.

It wasn’t supposed to be a big night, but as had been the way for the better part of 20 years, once I’d had a few drinks and got the scent of a night out there was no holding me back. I’m not sure what time I crawled into bed, but it was in the early hours of Saturday morning.

When I woke up it felt like wild animals were having a fight to the death inside my head, and someone really needed to turn the sprinklers on in my mouth. I crawled out of bed and spent the next few hours getting myself together – breakfast, rest on the couch, shower, rest on the couch, get dressed, rest on the couch – you get the drift. After lunch I was feeling ok, but I was still pretty tired and my ferocious headache hadn’t gone away. I drove to the hospital to collect Sarah and Jack, collected our belongings, said our goodbyes and thanked the staff for their amazing support, and headed for the car. After loading the car with our bags and securely placing Jack in his baby seat, I asked Sarah to drive us home, the first sign of things to come.

Once back at our apartment I headed straight for the couch. The bags had been put away and Jack was in his bed enjoying a well earned rest, so I felt it was time to do the same. Sarah looked at me in disbelief, but that look was fleeting because as soon as my head hit the cushion I was asleep. For the rest of the afternoon I slept on and off while Sarah looked after Jack.

My wife had given birth to our son 48 hours earlier, yet I was the one who needed to rest for the afternoon. It wasn’t right and I knew it, but I just couldn’t help it, I needed the sleep.

Making the decision to quit drinking

The following day when the hangover had subsided I reflected on the events of the previous day. It was the only time I was ever going to bring my first child home from hospital, a momentous day in any new parent’s life. Yet how had I spent the day? I woke with a hangover of epic proportions, tried in vain to recover before collecting Sarah and Jack, asked Sarah to drive us home, then slept for the afternoon while Sarah did all of the work.

I have no doubt a huge percentage of men collect their wife and child from hospital with a hangover, I’ve been told as much since I first wrote an article about it for news.com.au. But for me it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I vowed never to drink again from that moment forward.

Why was that the moment to quit drinking alcohol? I’d actually made the decision to quit drinking alcohol four years earlier, but a combination of habit, culture and the lack of strength to go through with it meant I was still having the occasional big night out. On its own, the day we brought Jack home for the first time wasn’t the whole reason I quit drinking alcohol, but the culmination of a journey I’d been on to go from occasional binge drinker to teetotaller.

I knew I didn’t want to drink alcohol anymore, the costs far outweighed the benefits and for me it just wasn’t worth it. The enjoyment I used to get from drinking had subsided, I didn’t like the feeling of being drunk anymore, and to pay good money to get drunk then endure a hangover now seemed like madness.

Life is much better without alcohol

Since quitting alcohol almost four years ago my life has been immeasurably better on so many different levels. I’m fitter and healthier than I’ve been in many years, not just because alcohol causes weight gain and serious illnesses such as liver disease and a range of cancers, but I’m now far more conscious of my health and wellbeing. I don’t feel lethargic for several days after a big night so I’m more likely to go to the gym; I’m not smashing kebabs on the way home from a night out then munching on fast food while I recover from a hangover the next day; and I’m out and about instead of lying on a couch feeling sorry for myself. Not to mention I’m not spending money on something I don’t enjoy, sleeping is so much better, my diet is infinitely healthier, productivity is through the roof, and my self-awareness has become so much clearer.

But the most important reason to give up alcohol was my family. From that day when I brought Sarah and Jack home from the hospital, I made a commitment that I would never waste a day because I was hungover again. I am acutely aware we are on this Earth for a finite amount of days, and wasting some of them because I’d drunk too much the night before just doesn’t make sense anymore. I still go out to pubs and parties occasionally and have a great time, I just don’t drink, and the reality is it’s not that big of a deal. If you think you can’t do them same, you’re wrong. There are many ways you can enjoy a night out without feeling like you have to drink, either from the voices in your head or peer and societal pressure.

You can quit drinking too…

If you’re thinking of quitting alcohol, taking a break or reducing the amount you drink, take it from someone who has been through this journey…don’t wait another second to do it. You don’t have to drink at the wedding you’re going to in a month, or the holiday you’re taking, or your own birthday party that’s been planned for you. While it’s the Australian way to drink at social events, it’s not imperative for a good time. I wasted four years drinking alcohol even though I didn’t want to do it anymore, so don’t make the same mistake I did. While you may find it difficult for the first few weeks, once you get through that period you’ll be so glad you made the decision.

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Chris Appleford

My name is Chris Appleford, I’m in my early 40’s and I’ve never felt fitter, healthier, leaner and happier. The reason? In 2012 I quit drinking alcohol…for good. But it hasn’t always been like that. Growing up I was like any other red blooded Australian male. I loved playing sport, watching the football, and having massive nights out on the town with my friends. These nights would start with a few drinks at someone’s house (pre-loading as it’s called these days), then hit the club’s until they kicked us out and closed the doors. Very rarely were these nights small. And of course the next day I’d feel like a freight train was running through my head and waste a day laying on the couch…sick as a dog!

This article has 7 comments

  1. Anne Russell Reply

    Hi Chris
    Usually I post comments only if they relate directly to fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. I so enjoyed your story that I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your decision to quit alcohol and the reasons behind that decision. Clearly Jack has two loving parents who want to be there for him in every possible way – he is a lucky little man. For me that attention to family and children is and always has been the only thing that mattered apart from the times that alcohol seemed to matter more. I stopped drinking 18 years ago but only because i had run out of choices. You made it before that happened and it shows an enormous amount of strength and courage. Well done – awesome story. 🙂

  2. Cecilia Reply

    Well done Chris. The refusal to give another day of my life over to hangovers has certainly been the kicker for me. Great blog 🙂

    • christine Reply

      I agree I don’t want to endure another long sick ruined hangover day

  3. Corrine Reply

    Here, here, Chris! I quit a year and a half ago and I’m over 60. I’ve never been healthier or happier. I like myself better. I sleep like a baby. I awake refreshed and happy to be alive. Just do it. You’ll be so glad you did. This said to anyone still reading this far down the page. Because you’re obviously seeking something. We are with you.

  4. Paula Ryan Reply

    “I knew I didn’t want to drink alcohol anymore, the costs far outweighed the benefits and for me it just wasn’t worth it. The enjoyment I used to get from drinking had subsided, I didn’t like the feeling of being drunk anymore, and to pay good money to get drunk then endure a hangover now seemed like madness.” thats the tipping point I reached with fags 16 years ago and I think I am there or nearly there with wine…..the pleasure is just being outweighed by the consequences….guilt, hangovers, shame, weight , self respect.

  5. paul parsons Reply

    I was brought up in a drinking culture and have no regrets what so ever but after dry January I decided to carry it on its like someone has just opened my eyes I don’t miss the drink and feel a lot more livelier healthier and have more cash in my pocket it seems now it is just a dumb thing for me to do why do harm to my body and pay for it is like me vandalising my car .I still have drink in the house and don’t object to anyone else drinking and don’t preach to others I am just glad I made the descision to stop anybody thinking of stopping I would say you have nothing to lose but loads to gain I am 64 it’s never too late

  6. kat Reply

    I have “quit” many times…how have you all finally, finally quit?
    Thank you!

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